I have never known a life apart from my Creator.
Bold statement, eh? Yeah, I thought so too. But the more I thought about it
for my personal life, I realized that I have, from the time I was able to
consume knowledge, had the knowledge engrained in me that I am a creation of a
higher being and all that I could see around me in the natural world was also
created by this being. This was, indeed, a knowledge that was taught to me at a
young age. But, it was so true, so real - it made perfect, logical sense in my
fresh young mind that their was a creator out there somewhere that created
everything. This thought continued until I was in my early elementary school
years (not too much later, eh?) and I was made aware of other religions and
schools of thought concerning existential matters. I asked my mother how we
knew that our beliefs were accurate because everyone always thinks that their
beliefs are true and if we live in a world of varied thinking, who's to say?
(All of this was said with more simple vocabulary, I'm sure.) My mother replied
after a moment of thought and said, "We just know." Simple and bold.
Questionable and open-ended. Doubt-worthy, yet doubt-defeating. That answer
assured me for a little while. But even given the future moments of restlessness in my life, I knew then as I know now that this Creator-creation bond was and is very real and very true.
In middle school, I don't know that a Creator-creation relationship existed
on any known level in my life other than the fact that I attended a lot of youth
group rallies and I practically lived in my church building.
Then came high school. I was the do-it-all Queen, getting my hands into any
and everything. If it had the label "club/organization/sport/event," I was
there. And you better believe I was the president of it too. I didn't think
too much about why I was involved in the things I was - just that I had a lot of
interests and even more, an interest in socializing. My heavy interest in
Christian-clubbing was not exempt from this factor either. Start a Club 121 at
school - give people the ABC's of a relationship with the God they already
think they have a relationship with just by living in the Bible belt and you're
getting a gold star for the day. Now I do believe that my life displayed true
elements of Christ sometimes: loving and accepting everyone, regardless of what
clique or social label they had attached. Being a friend to others was just
something that kind of came naturally to me. I didn't realize at the time that
this was a direct reflection my creator.
And then I went to college. Oh, did my 'spiritual' world flip upside down.
I had never been in a location where it just felt like everyone was a
Christian around me. Talk about being completely weirded out. Now obviously
this was not completely true, but I can honestly say there were a lot of people
like me - coming from youth group childhoods to a world of non-southern outside
ideas. I became a part of a local body of people that were learning together
what it truly meant to be a follower of Christ - what it looks like practically
to be a brother or sister to others.
And now I am here. In my senior year of college, on a busy night that does
not afford me time to write a novel on myspace and I am wondering who on earth I
pray to. Is it Christ? Is it God? Triune? Father? Creator?
If I had never given my life to Christ, could I still pray to the Father?
Now, given that the belief is that Christ and God are one - one in bodily form,
the other (spirit?)....something else. When we say, "Thank you for sending your
son to die for us," who are we addressing? Is it "thank you for sending the
bodily form of you for us?" Maybe. Who did the people of the Old Testament cry
out to and give sacrifices to? Not Jesus Christ (unless the pre-form of him
through God), but to Yahweh. Then we get to read in the New Testament about how
their was this bodily form on earth sent to show the world the goodness and
holiness of a creator in a tangible form that other humans could relate to or
have it in front of their eyes.
So, when I began making decisions on a more regular basis live for Jesus
Christ (or God), I could not only pray to my Creator as He was known pre-Christ
knowledge days, but also to the risen Son. As a child with knowledge of a creator, I knew that I had a creator but it was not until later I discovered there was a call to die with the sacrifice that had truly saved my life.
This just makes me consider my words in prayer a little more tonight.
Apologies for confusion amidst my rambling brain and fingers. Feel free to
request clarification and I'll see what I can do.
[This post, by the way, is not meant to spur on philosophical ideas such as
Marxist concepts dealing with religion as an opium or learned knowledge - good
ideas, but not the point of what I am writing right now. I am simply giving you
my life as I know it to be from my personal inborn experience.] | 
